The Lies We Believed about Ourselves No Longer Have to Define Us

Growing up I was often placed at the center of attention. From the time I was a child, I taught myself to be social, too, because I thought I needed everyone to like me. I mean, when your parents make you have a mullet in 3rd grade, you have to do something. It’s okay, Mom and Dad. I forgive you.

And as a young adult, I grew more outgoing, yet more insecure. Pointing out my flaws first meant that maybe other people wouldn’t. In fact, I discovered that telling others my flaws often caused them to point out everything that was good about me, so I became self-deprecating. It’s a form of arrogance that I no longer tolerate, and it used to be a way of life.

For years, I had no idea that the uncertain, insecure person I had become was actually just fearful, prideful, and arrogant. I still find myself fighting feelings of pride from time to time even though I recognize that it’s not a trait I want to use to describe myself. 

In addition to being prideful and insecure, I was also a liar. I became conditioned to telling lies as a late teen, when I felt I had to pretend that I was okay while I wasn’t, but this is not a post about that. It’s about my journey to discovering that Satan is the father of lies and that what he thinks of me, what you think of me, and even what I think of myself is wrong if it doesn’t line up with what God’s Word says about me. 

God says that I am His masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus so I can do the things He planned for me long ago. (Ephesians 2:10). He also says that I am made in His image and that there’s nothing I can ever do to separate myself from His love for me, and He says the same thing about you. 

He loves you so much that while you were still sinning – even if your life is filled with sin right now – Christ died for you. He is not mad at you. He knows everything about you, and he wants you to know him, to love him, and to put all of your hopes, dreams, worries, and fears in his hands. 

The devil is a liar, and for a long time I believed the lies that he wanted me to believe:

·      It’s too late.

·      You’ve sinned too much.

·      Your life is a mess, and you have to clean it up before God will love you.

·      You’ll never have enough.

·      You’ll never be enough.

·      You have to do everything yourself. There’s no one to help you.

·      You will always be alone.

·      There’s nothing likable about you.

·      If people really knew you, they’d be disappointed in you.

You get the idea, right? I mean, I know I’m not the only one who’s ever believed these lies about myself.

Just take a look at a magazine next time you’re waiting to check out at the supermarket. Turn on a reality show or watch the news for five minutes, and you’ll see it. Look at social media. Do any of these things, and you’ll quickly see people striving to be perceived as gorgeous or perfect or simply held in high regard because they have all the answers.

You will quickly get a glimpse of what it’s like to pursue pseudo-perfection, and be sure to turn it all off before it sucks every ounce of joy from your life. Technology is amazing. At the same time, it makes it easy to fall prey to comparison, which steals a lot more than joy. I learned that the hard way, so limit what you read, hear, and see to avoid that common pitfall.

The truth is that at our core desire to be loved, appreciated, and respected, but most of us have been trained to believe that our validation comes from gaining social stature, making more money, and achieving perfection. We’ve been conditioned to believe it, but that doesn’t make it true. In fact, it is completely contrary to the truth that is laid out in God’s Word. 

Now, I believe what the Bible says about God’s plans to prosper me and to give me hope and a future. I know, without a doubt, that his mercies are new everyday, that he’s faithful, and that he loves me.

As a result, the belief I once had that I needed everyone to like me has changed. I still receive more attention than the average person, and now I understand that God made me outgoing with a high capacity for people because those traits allow me to walk in my purpose. I lead with a fire in my soul because I want every human to experience the overwhelming mercy and grace that I’ve received, and there are few things I enjoy more than pointing people to Christ and calling people up into their purpose.

I don’t need to attention or affirmation from people like I once did even though I still enjoy receiving it, and I know it’s okay if everyone doesn’t like me. I still enjoy being liked; I just don’t live for it anymore. I know that I’m loved. I believe I’m worthy of it because Christ made me worthy, and I know that even when I’m not enough, God’s grace is sufficient for me.

Have you ever let yourself believe any of the lies I listed above? And if you’re believing any of those lies (or lies I didn’t list) and aren’t sure how to change that, leave a comment. I’d love to point you to encourage you.